See Ya – Wouldn’t Want to Be Ya
Joe has some subtle green blades rising…
Pride London had the full backing of the liberal-left establishment this year. The post-march festival was held in central London for the first time. The car bombs and the constant rain kept the crowds away. The politically correct stalls and entertainment scared off the party boys (the glamour boyz bunkered down in Soho). The only people left in Trafalgar Square and Leicester Square were lots of bemused tourists and the sort of people Diane Arbus liked to photograph (God bless them).
I arranged to meet TP in the National Portrait Gallery. TP was late so I wandered round the Tudor galleries (16th Century) and the excellent BP Portrait Award exhibition. The art on display in the NPG was everything Pride was not – soulful, profound and sophisticated.
Of course, Pride is simply gay pop culture. It’s no more or less trashy than straight pop culture. This year’s festival was slightly different insofar as political activists dominated the planning committee (hence the 911 conspiricy stall above) but it was mostly the same old tacky gay nonsense.
Later in the day, I dragged TP through Soho to find out where all the buff guys had gone. On the way to Soho Square (which was party boy central) we stopped off at the Catholic Church of Notre Dame de France. I left the church thinking, “Goodbye gay world. It’s over.”
It might sound clichéd but it’s true. We left “gay” behind because we grew up.
“It might sound clichéd but it’s true. We left “gay†behind because we grew up.”
Should all homosexuality be judged based on a gay pride parade?
I’m gay. I’ve never been to any pride parades, and I don’t plan on going to any. I just don’t care about that stuff. I know many gay men who feel the same way.
I also know men who “left gay behind” and are involved in self-destructive lives which involve drugs, alcohol, lying to their spouses, their friends, their family.
Suddenly deciding not to be gay does not guarantee maturity, just as being gay does not mean someone is immature.
James,
Thanks for your comment. I think what many of us who walked away from homosexuality discovered was, regardless of whether we went to cheesy nightclubs or never even came out, there was a level of emotional immaturity in our lives which correlated with our sexual orientation. Deciding to leave gay behind doesn’t make one “emotionally mature”. Rather for myself and others it was an acceptance that our emotional immaturity and how it had embedded itself in our emotions and attractions was NOT going to determine the rest of our lives.
“I think what many of us who walked away from homosexuality discovered was, regardless of whether we went to cheesy nightclubs or never even came out, there was a level of emotional immaturity in our lives which correlated with our sexual orientation.”
I can see what you mean. I guess I’m speaking mainly of my own experiences. To me, it’s more about some section of the gay community than about homosexuality itself. There is a section of the gay community which does not want to grow up, which feels being gay means they can do whatever they want. They use society’s hate/fear/disdain for homosexuality to justify their behavior. I think that is just a behavior which stems from their own reaction to their homosexuality, not from homosexuality itself. There are a lot of gay men who don’t want to get into this life of clubs, drugs, sexual abandon, porn but they feel pressured by the “community”. I think this is changing, not fast enough, but it’s changing.
I have seen gay men who have destroyed their lives because of their dangerous behavior, but I’ve also seen gay men who conquer their demons and go on to be happy, have a solid relationship with another man, and avoid promiscuity, drugs, self-hatred, loneliness. Meanwhile, I’ve seen some gay men who abandon homosexuality and they are satisfied, but I’ve also seen gay men who have abandoned homosexuality and yet the same problems follow them (self-hatred, fear, loneliness) no matter how much they stayed away from other men. They assumed being away from homosexuality was enough, and their lives still ended up in a shambles.